Friday, 10 January 2014

New Year Project: On Figuring Out What We Love About Ourselves

Remember when I asked a couple of days ago why it's so hard to come up with nice things to say/think about ourselves? I still have no answer. Have you thought of one?

When I sat down earlier today to think about this question, I just kept drawing blanks. So I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. Word of warning, this is going to make me sound completely nuts, and possibly narcissistic, but I promise, I have a point (at least I think I do).

It was so weird to really, really look at myself. I actually felt embarrassed (I guess my mother taught me well, she's heavily ingrained in me that it's rude to stare). And I kept asking the question over and over again, "What do I love about myself?" After what felt like a long time, but was possibly only a few seconds, I still had no answer.

I decided to look at it from a different perspective. And it worked! I was surprised at how easily I started coming up with things that I actually loved about myself. Here are some of them:

1. My ability to think creatively.
2. My persistence for the last 21 years of my life in trying to lose weight - after so many failed attempts, and one success, you would've thought I'd given up by now.
3. My thoughtfulness, generosity and loyalty to those that I love.
4. My interest in reading and writing, as well as my imagination.
5. My sense of style, and how I look in general, over all.

So, what was the different perspective I picked? I'll get to that in a minute. Let me just point out some of the purposes of this exercise:

A. It makes us really think and focus on the positive things about ourselves.
B. Some of us need affirmation from time to time to feel good. Who better else to give it to us than ourselves?
C. It boosts confidence.
D. It feels damn good.

My main point is, do whatever it takes, whatever works for you, to figure out the things you love about yourself, if you don't know those things yet. Don't be afraid to do seemingly stupid/silly things if it'll make you see how wonderful you truly are.

Because heck, the different perspective that worked for me was, "Would I go out with me? Why?"

In case you're wondering, I answered yes. And then immediately clarified with myself that I would, if I were a boy.

Now, before I go bury my head in mortification from sharing the extent of my craziness, I'll leave you with something useful. Here are some lines from Ellie May's post on overcoming fear of failure from a couple of days ago:
"Stop thinking you won't be able to do it, because then you definitely won't and start believing that you can. Turn that dream that seems so impossible and far away into a plan that is coming as soon as you are ready. If you don't, you will always regret it. You will always have that question in your mind, that question full of wonder, regret and missed chances: What if?"
Do you know what you love about yourself? What are those things?

take care,

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  1. The Reason why we could never come up with things we love about ourselves is because We are are harshest critics. Every heard the phrase "My own worse enemy" It is entirely true. Great Blog Post

  2. Love this (as usual). And asking the question "would I go out with me? why?" is an AWESOME approach to this post, and I'm totally doing it when I write mine! haha I too, feel silly when I have to think about things I love about myself...still working on that.

  3. You GO girl! I can testify to some of these, in part because of the New Year's Project. FABULOUS idea!

  4. Love it, what a brilliant post and a great way to look at this a new perspective! I was really touched to see that you used some of the words I said in one of my posts, I always assumed it sounded like random waffle to other people so thank you!! :)

  5. Hi Kimberly, thanks for stopping by. :)

    Yes, I totally agree with you that we're definitely our harshest critics. I wish I could understand the reasoning behind it though. Hmm, maybe I'll try and find a psychologist to answer that one.

  6. Haha, thanks Sam! I seriously felt like such a d***, but umm, whatever works right? >_<

  7. Hehehe thanks LuAnn, you're the best :D

  8. Thanks Ellie! And I really liked what you wrote, so I thought I'd share it. :) And no, your posts are great, don't be silly. ;)

  9. This is a great post. One of the items on my 101 in 1001 list is to make a list of things I like about myself - and I've found it so hard! I think I'll have to adopt your approach of changing my perspective and see if that helps. We really are our own worst critics.

  10. Good luck Jenni! I think it's probably hard since we're so out of practice with doing it. I hope we can somehow learn to avoid being our harshest critics - the media's tough enough to compete with as it is! And good luck with your 101 in 1001 as well!

  11. Just found your blog. I'll be around!!

  12. Amanda Papenfus Eatherly14 January 2014 at 07:59

    Good question. I think it can be kind of awkward to think of things we like about ourselves (and to say them) because it can seem like bragging, but it's important. We're supposed to like ourselves before we can expect others to like us, so we should at least know what's likeable I guess. That said I am having a hard time coming up with a list. Maybe I'll have to include it in my letter to myself.

  13. It is rather silly that we think of it as bragging isn't it? I don't remember at all being told off for being vain or boastful as a child, and yet found it really difficult to come up with things. Good luck with your list! :)